Though I was unable to visit hospice patients this year in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, I feel that I have grown exponentially as a person and a future health care professional. I thought that I understood death when I applied to the Athena Institute Pre-Med Hospice Volunteer Program, but suddenly the world is more consumed with death than ever, and my perception of dying has changed. Going through this training while enduring the turbulence of COVID-19 is more than I could have ever expected. The circumstance puts a whole different perspective on palliative care and the significance of death and dying to a person and their loved ones. Death is everywhere. Cliché as it may sound, it really is the circle of life. While of course we do not want to die, we can take lessons on inevitable death from all over the world around us.
As mentioned by Dr. Puri, fighting death at all costs is not the sole purpose of medicine, and it is not the sole purpose of life either. Living in fear of death, is not living. Death is inescapable. It is natural, and a part of life. Accepting death, on the other hand, may be a little less natural, and so we can look to the universe for guidance. Dr. Puri found that “understanding death as inevitable is necessary to appreciate the meaning and beauty of life.” She also found that doing so is hard. Taking on a role that surrounds you with death and dying is taxing. It is difficult work. But as we grow and learn how to be the best support systems for our patients and their families, we can try to break away from that emotionally draining standpoint. We can encourage love, remembrance, and reminiscence of the lives of our patients, all of their success, failures, and lessons, and help them to come to accept the reality of their situation. We can give them a good death. We can surround them with people they love, support them in their grief, and minimize their suffering. We take these steps not only to ensure the comfort of our patients and their families, but also for our own peace of mind. As the patients and their loved ones must accept loss, we must also learn to understand that death is a part of something bigger. It is not to be feared, but instead celebrated.
We are going through school, and we chose pre-med to save lives. We are learning the equations, and we are studying for the exams but sometimes we lose the most important piece of it all – the people. This program has brought me back to the people. The patients, their lives, their stories – that is why I am here. As much as I would have loved to really get to know some people and support them in their final days, I think that this year of learning and understanding death has prepared me even more for the future, and my career as a healthcare professional. With my newfound perception of death, I look forward to next year as a hospice volunteer, and keeping my focus on the people.