Becoming Comfortable with Death

When I first began as a hospice volunteer, I was largely unaware what hospice entailed. My own experience with death was limited; my grandfather passed away when I was young, but no one close to me since then had passed. I only thought about death in an abstract way, but mostly ignored the topic as a whole. My hospice experience has transformed the way I think about death, and perhaps most importantly, how I communicate with others about death. I have come to the conclusion that we should strive to have more open conversations about death, and that the purpose of healthcare should not always be to fight death.

Prior to my hospice volunteer experience, I viewed medicine as something that was fundamentally about saving people’s lives. I had not considered another important function of medicine: aiding patients in the process of dying. Dr. Sunita Puri and others have alluded to the way in which medical education in the U.S. and elsewhere does not teach healthcare providers to consider aspects of medicine other than simply striving to extend one’s life at all costs. As I continue my education, I want to remember to consider the patient’s wellbeing, quality of life, and autonomy instead of just considering how to keep them alive for the longest time possible. Hospice volunteering has been instrumental in teaching me this lesson.

When I first met Bob on my first Hospice volunteer experience, I did not know how to engage with him. Over time, we developed a rapport and were able to converse about his life and experiences. His health fluctuated, and I saw how the nurses were most concerned about keeping him comfortable. His healthcare providers made his wellbeing the priority, instead of simply the length of his life. Bob showed me that quality of life is not about numbers; it is about seeking happiness and connection with others.

I am more inspired than ever to continue pursuing a career in medicine. Interacting with hospice patients has shown me the power that healthcare providers can have to make another person’s life more comfortable and pleasurable. I also learned how strong communication makes all the difference. Becoming more comfortable with death and the process of dying has made me feel more confident that I can become a successful doctor who is able to provide valuable care to patients, whether that is through healing or helping them through the process of dying.

As Dr. Sunita Puri eloquently puts it in “The Lesson of Impermanence,” everything in this world is temporary. We must accept that “life is finite” and change is inevitable. I believe that this experience has enabled me to see the joy in this, instead of hopelessness. Every moment of life is precious, and every moment in the dying process can also be precious. Life is not constant; everything changes. My hospice experience has helped me to accept this fact, and now it’s something I believe we must all embrace.