Over the course of the year, I received training that allowed me to meet people through the hospice program close to my school, Bucknell University. I had one patient for a couple weeks (with winter break and the new remote learning schedule, I was unable to meet with multiple people). I definitely learned a lot just from talking with her every week, and I treasure the conversations that I had with her.
I also learned to respect Bridget’s perspective, as it was very different from my own. Bridget believed that, in her own words, because she had walked with God all her life, she would be with Him after she passed away as well. Personally, I am not a very religious person, so I initially had trouble navigating this conversation in a supportive and thoughtful way. I started by asking her more questions about her faith in an effort to learn more about her life. I discovered that she was more than happy to discuss God and what He meant to her life, and in discussing God, she was able to tell me a lot about her life. Bridget’s husband was a pastor, and she and her family had lived in Pennsylvania all her life. She moved around Central Pennsylvania, from Millersville to Lewisburg in 2005, and enjoyed her work as a teacher. I’m happy that she was able to convey so much about her life just through discussing her faith.
Throughout the training for this program, as well as my meetings with Bridget, I felt more confident about my career choices in medicine. Growing up, I always said I wanted to help people feel better again, but I did not always understand what that really meant. I knew I wanted to pursue medicine, because I was also genuinely interested in the science, but I learned more about the humanity about being a doctor through this program. After completing the writing assignments every week for this program and being exposed to some of Dr. Gawande’s writings, I learned that “making people feel better again” did not mean what I thought it did. I learned that there is a point at which a doctor needs to make a patient feel comfortable enough to pass away peacefully, and I also learned about how difficult it can be to distinguish what this point actually is. I learned that death is not the enemy that it is perceived to be, but actually something to be welcomed when it is the right time and decision for the patient.
I would not have learned these valuable lessons had I not joined the Pre-Med Hospice Program; it was mentioned by some of the doctors in the first documentaries that I watched that they did not learn these lessons in medical school or residency either. Death is a complex topic, especially for doctors when they are expected to save people’s lives. However, I came to learn that death is something to be welcomed when the time is right. I look forward to talking about this experience in my medical school applications; I think that this program distinguishes me from other applicants. It allows me to have a conversation with admissions officers and medical school professors that is more unique than just discussing my research or the classes I took. I know that in the future, when I become a doctor, this program will influence my daily decisions in regard to my patients.