Understanding Death

My relationship with my hospice patient is meaningful because I know that sometimes I am the only one that tries to engage with her. I usually find her in a chair with the television on, even though she cannot see and can barely hear. Her caregivers do the tasks necessary to keep her alive, but there is not anyone giving any sort of vibrance to her life. Therefore, my goal with my patient became to give her back some life she’s been missing.

Throughout my time with my patient, I learned that her favorite flavor for candy and ice cream is chocolate, so I brought her chocolate periodically. I learned a lot about her family: she has two daughters who call her but rarely visit. She grew up in a nearby area and met her husband on a blind date. She spent a lot of her time volunteering. In fact, she volunteered at nursing homes like the one she currently lives in. My favorite aspect of my patient is that regardless of her situation, she still smiles every time someone says hello to her and says thank you whenever she receives help. When I used to work in a nursing home with dementia patients, it was understandably difficult for some of them to be in a positive mood when they were so confused, so I admire her for her positivity, and I hope that I will be as kind as she is if I am ever in a similar position.

This program is valuable for medical school applicants because it teaches hospice volunteers that preventing death is not always the solution or best option for a patient. On a med school application, hospice volunteering reflects an understanding of the meaning of death and an understanding of how to cope with it. People who have not been exposed to people close to death are less likely to understand it as a difficult necessity. Death is difficult to cope with emotionally, but it’s a necessity because without it, life would not have has much value. This is not to say that people should die, just that everyone will die regardless of their desire to. When people die, those who are still alive know to make the most of the time they are given. Medical students who believe that the only purpose of medicine is to keep people alive will meet a lot of failure if that is what they consider death to be. Is it ideal for a patient to die? No. Does it happen? All of the time. What is important is how one reacts to these deaths, and participation in this program shows that I am better equipped to handle it in my future career.

My outlook on death has particularly grown during this experience. Though death will always be a terrifying concept for me, the dying process is less scary. Watching my patient go through a fairly peaceful death is actually comforting. Even though her life currently seems undesirable to most, she is fairly happy. People strive for happiness during their life, and seeing her achieve that in her current mental state gives me hope for joy even in the final stages of life. I have always desired to be a doctor because I enjoy comforting and helping other, and my hospice experience has only strengthened that desire and reaffirmed my sense of vocation.