Trying to make a difference

How has your Hospice experience influenced your understanding of end of life issues?

My hospice experience has been extremely positive! I did not expect it to be this way. I thought it would be somber and sad, but instead I have been able to have meaningful friendships, although sometimes very short, with people I would have never have met.

I do not find death scary, or depressing, but I see it as a natural part of life. I wanted to get involved in hospice to try to be helpful and to make a positive effect on someone’s life during a critical period. Sometimes people get uncomfortable around death and dying, and I think that some of the hospice residents end up getting less frequent visitors because of it. Since I have started volunteering at the V.A. in Aspinwall, I have only missed two Fridays. Friday night is my usual night to volunteer because it works best with my schedule, and I get to spend 4-5 hours with the residents each time.

One of the first relationships I had at the V.A. was with a woman, whom we will call “Carey.” Carey used to work on rockets for the military, and she was dying of cancer. I went into her room hoping to be able to get her to open up a little, because I was told she was very closed off and not doing well. I was happy when I was able to convince her that the food smelled delicious and she allowed me to help her eat. She finished it all, which was a great surprise because the nurses told me she hadn’t been eating. Carey told me all about her work on the rockets and how she was getting memory books ready for her daughter. She then asked me to read to her from her bible. I didn’t have my glasses with me so the tiny words were blurry. In order to not ruin it for Carey, I was trying to be kind of charismatic when reading and putting some emotion into it. Carey ended up laughing at me and getting me to laugh at myself because of the way she said I was “really getting into it.”

When I came home I told my family about her and how she used to work on the rockets and how I thought she was on an upswing because she ate so much. But when I returned the next week, Carey had already passed away. I am thankful for the time I had with her, and I hope her daughter enjoyed her memory books that her mother spent so much effort on for her.

Volunteering at the V.A. has not deterred me in the least from working in healthcare. It has been reinforcement for me that I have made the right decision in going with my gut, even if I wasn’t sure why at the time I started my journey.