Over the past 7 months, I have experienced an entirely new side of medicine and healthcare. Through the connections I formed with my hospice patient, as well as group discussions and reflections throughout this period, I have gained invaluable experience and insight that has allowed me to develop my professional and personal skills. Moreover, my participation in this program has also reaffirmed my prior interest in the medical field and becoming a physician, while also highlighting some of the difficulties the path entails.
My only experience with hospice care before volunteering with Ascend Hospice came in the form of my great-grandmother’s passing, where I was exposed to the patient and family aspect of hospice. From this limited experience, I thought I had a decent understanding of the purpose and function of hospice care for those near death, however my subsequent experience as a volunteer working with patients dramatically changed my perspective.
For the sake of this reflection, I will call the hospice patient I was assigned to “Deborah”. From my very first call with her, I knew I would quite like her, as she reminded me of my own grandmother. While communication over the phone was more difficult than it would have been in person, Deborah’s kindness and inspiringly positive outlook on life ensured every interaction was significant and full of compassion. As time went on, I got to know her quite well. We discussed things ranging from her family and friends to old memories of her college years and eventually her perspective on her future and the imminent possibility of her own passing. Deborah did understand and accept her own death as a fact of her life, but what I found most inspiring was her ability to maintain a positive outlook even in light of her struggles. On one of our weekly calls, Deborah offered me one of the most powerful pieces of advice I think I have ever received. Our conversation had wandered onto the topic of her health and possible passing, and I asked how she felt about it. As a woman who had been struggling with many ailments, I expected Deborah to voice some discomfort or fear of death, yet instead she told me she was neither scared nor happy to pass on. Instead, she chose to live her life the best she could every single day, and enjoy what she still had instead of focusing on what she had lost. Now, I have heard this type of advice from various sources throughout my life, yet hearing it firsthand from a woman who was nearly blind, immobile, and nearing death gave the sentiment an entirely different significance. It was almost as if it was the first time I was actually hearing the words. To this day, when I have a bad day when everything seems to be against me, I still try to remember this advice and enjoy what good I do still have in my life.
As I mentioned before, this was my first real experience on the provider side of healthcare, and I think it had an immeasurably positive impact on my motivation to continue on my path to becoming a physician. I had never before experienced just how positive an experience I could have with a person who, on the surface, lacked any common experience or perspectives with me. Yet, through forming this relationship, even over the phone, I saw the positive impact I can have on an individual even from seemingly small encounters. Moreover, this experience exposed me, for the first time, to the death process as an outsider. While it was difficult at times to support a patient at this stage in their life, it was also incredibly rewarding at times, and I always knew my support helped the patient. Overall, I greatly appreciated this opportunity to learn from and connect with a person so different from myself, and I feel greatly encouraged on my pathway to practicing medicine.