I use the pseudonyms for my patient (Yvette Thomas).
My most meaningful hospice patient experience was my experience with Yvette Thomas. When I was given a preview about Yvette Thomas it was mentioned that she loved patient encounters. Every time I came in Yvette would smile and say, “oh yes”. I would color in cats in her cat coloring book. Lately, she mentioned how she was tired and fatigued however she always said, “you can stay” whenever she dozed off into her nap. Those simple three words made me realize that she was truly grateful for my presence. However, I was becoming worried about her frequent tiredness. At times it felt like I was not doing enough but just sitting there whenever she napped. However, recently, when I arrived at Yvette’s room I was greeted by her sister. I introduced myself to the sister and sat with Yvette. Every now and then, they would argue and I would smile reminiscing about my sisters back home. When it got quieter, Yvette’s sister mentioned how Yvette talked about the coloring books I colored in and the cat pictures another hospice volunteer made. It made me realize that out of all of us I was the least comfortable to change. I was so focused on our routine of me showing her cat pictures or colorings and her talking about them that I was did not expect a time where I would not be doing that. In one of Sunita Puri’s quotes from her book The Lesson of Impermenance, she mentions that, “vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that… what makes us suffer is wanting things to be permenant when they are not” (Puri). I had to be comfortable with the fact that my patient was changing, which also meant our interactions would change as well. Everybody is taught that the world is an ever changing place. People will eventually grow up and die. However, being in this experience has showed me the reality of how change can affect the world around us. Such a big change like aging can impact the way we interact with our loved ones or other people. This experience has taught me how to be comfortable to change. In the medicine field, there are times where doctors have very long relationships with patients. In these relationships, there will be times when the patient’s health will slowly decline. As the being mortal documentary says, “the two unfixables are aging and dying”. However, doctors must be comfortable in being comfortable with change. Doctors should accept that there are things we cannot extend or “fix” one of which is dying. Dying is a part of the changing process. Trying to extend death can be detrimental to both the patient and the doctor mentally and physically. My time with Yvette Thomas has put me in a real life situation where I needed to be comfortable with change. The beauty of change is that it is always happening. Everyday our bodies, mentality, and interactions are changing. As a physician, I am more comfortable with acknowledging this in other people and in myself.