When I first approached the idea of hospice volunteering, I understood patient care in terms of a traditional medicine model. Specifically, following the idea that the role of the physician and caregivers is to intervene, to treat and to cure. As I approached my first and only patient thus far, a woman I will call “Jane,” I felt an immense sense of nervousness. How could I possibly be of help to someone at the end of their life, when I had no medical experience or interventions to offer? As Atul Gawande describes in his book Being Mortal, I was experiencing the classic anxiety of physicians in the field, wherein I was scared of being incompetent because I could not “fix the problem”. However, the relationship I built with “Jane” has completely changed my perspective and dismantled this anxiety. Volunteering with “Jane,” I quickly learned that she did not need me to be a medical fixer, instead she repeatedly expressed deep gratitude for my presence and simply because I came to visit her. In my view, sitting and talking to her felt like a small gesture, but to her, it meant she was seen, heard and valued.
My experience with “Jane” sparked a profound shift in my perspective on patient and hospice care. I realized that my role in patient care is not to make grand gestures or procure bold treatments, but rather to offer a steady presence to create comfort and dignity for patients in need. As Gawande notes, aging and dying are definitively known as the two “unfixables”, and yet physicians feel duty-bound to push treatment after treatment to try to extend a patient’s hope. This fighting against death at all costs is a damaging practice that can ultimately go against a patient’s wishes and prolong their suffering. My time with “Jane” taught me that while some patients might prefer to hope for miracles, oftentimes the better decision is to focus on their comfort and quality of life. Witnessing “Jane’s” gratitude for my simple companionship showed me that sometimes the most meaningful intervention could be simply offering a steady presence to preserve a patient’s dignity.
As I reflect on both my experience with “Jane” and on Being Mortal, my perspective on what makes a good physician has evolved and grown. Instead of an exclusive focus on clinical outcomes and prolonging life at any expense, I now understand that a dedicated clinician must consciously realize that they are treating a person with real-life experiences and connections. As a future-physician, I will prioritize providing genuine care through quiet moments of human connection and ensure that patients can experience the most important things in their lives for as long as possible. As I reflect on a personal level, my experience has also reinforced the value of small acts of kindness and compassion in my everyday life, and has reminded me to cherish the people who have consistently shown up for me.
As I prepare for medical school, I view this hospice program as one of my most invaluable clinical experiences. Not only has it allowed me to connect deeply with another person, but it has also shown me that while medicine has its limits, genuine care does not. Ultimately, this experience has firmly solidified my commitment to practicing medicine that treats the whole patient and values clinical compassion and quality of life just as highly as clinical excellence.