On the introductory day of the volunteer program, our leaders had us go around in a circle and explain our experience with death. I immediately felt uncomfortable due to the fact that I would be soon sharing extremely emotional stories with peers whom I just met. Up to this point of my life, I have experienced death with two close family members. These were terribly sentimental times of my life; however, both of the people I’ve lost lived full lives. Thus, their death was able to be more of a celebration than something to mourn. One takeaway of our resource and reflection meetings that I will bring with me for the rest of my life is how important it is to not look at death as something to fear.
To so many people around the world, death is a very scary thing. However, accepting death is what is going to help create a “good death.” As we learned through Judy MacDonald’s TED talk, the best death is one that is acknowledged and discussed. In her talk she shared the story of a couple, expressing how they had to make the decision of who was going to take over their farm when they were gone. This was something extremely special to them, thus if such plans were not made, their quality of life when approaching the end would not have been as fulfilling. By making a plan of your hopes and wants, regarding the end of life, you are taking the healthy steps towards a “good death.” While these are steps that can be difficult to accept at times, they are the simple decisions that will make a big difference. My experience in the hospice program has shown me the importance of these end-of-life tips for me while also helping me view death in a more positive light.
One of the most meaningful connections I’ve made throughout this program was with the patient Patty. I was able to connect with her through a few sessions, and while she was not much of a talker, I knew just how much my presence meant to her. However, it wasn’t until I spoke with Patty’s nurse that this became clear to me. Her nurse spoke with me about how Patty never really said much, but she loved having someone in the room. Thus, every time I caused Patty to smile or laugh, I knew just how meaningful that conversation was. I tried my best to keep the conversation going while visiting her, but there were often short responses and awkward silences, causing me to worry that she didn’t necessarily want me there. However, these concerns were the result of being a new volunteer. The conversation I had with Patty’s nurse ultimately allowed me to understand that a lack of conversation doesn’t mean the patient doesn’t want you there, which helped me gain confidence in my job.
Furthermore, while visiting Patty, I was able to spend some time with her daughter and learn a lot more about her life. Sitting together and smiling through conversation made my time there feel extremely rewarding. Although my visits were only for about an hour, I felt like I got so much out of each session as it became more evident to me how much Patty was enjoying the time we spent together. Unfortunately, my visits with her got cut short as her health began to decline, but I will always cherish the time I had with her.
I’ve known for some time that going into the medical field is something that I’ve wanted to pursue, and this experience has only solidified my aspirations. Hospice volunteering has shown me how beneficial meaningful connections can be for someone’s health and happiness. I am looking forward to continuing my education to pursue an occupation where I can not only help make someone’s day better, but also help them manage and treat their health conditions.