The hospice experience through the Athena Institute is one that will forever change my perspective. As introduced by Dr. Atul Gawande, the first fear that a doctor will experience is the fear that they will not be able to most effectively treat a patient or solve their problem. Although this worry did cross my mind prior to hospice training, I assumed that I would have accumulated enough knowledge after medical school to treat a patient to the best of my ability. However, I had not considered one ailment- dying. Aging has been known to cause many health-related problems, most of which can be treated but not fixed. Before this hospice program, I had not considered the very real possibility that, at a certain point, there are no treatment options available. The patient must accept death and prepare accordingly to have a “good” dying experience.
As described in previous prompts, my family did not discuss death very much, and rarely did even when it was necessary. Thus, I grew up with a very selective view of death. Although I did not see patients, this program helped me grapple with death and figure out what dying truly meant to me. By doing so, I was able to apply this view to the medical field, greatly strengthening my ability to effectively treat patients in the future. For instance, I now know how important it is to break the news of death to a patient earlier rather than later. This helps them prepare by notifying loved ones, making sure their beloved people and items are cared for after passing, and tying off any loose ends that they may have accumulated in their lifetime. I also know that breaking this news is not pleasant, as demonstrated by Dr. Gawande. It requires patience, time, and practice- attributes that I hope to employ regularly as a doctor.
The overall knowledge that I have accumulated from the Athena hospice program is innumerable and taught me valuable lessons about the importance of dying and being prepared. Even though the medical field is one that is rooted in scientific fact, I was taught that being a doctor means that you are also a caretaker, a line of trust, and a critical member of a larger community. This means that having compassion and kindness is crucial, especially when diagnosing a patient with a life-threatening ailment or death. This compassion must extend beyond the patient and also applies in terms of self-care. Doctors are constantly tending to others; the hospice program taught me that it is important, if not required, to take care of yourself in order to most effectively treat others.
I also learned of some of the more nuanced parts of treating patients, like compassion fatigue. In order to give your best self to a patient, many factors must be taken into account, such as their mental state, your mental state, the graveness of the situation, their likely reaction to information, and much more. I had not considered these factors prior to this year, as I simply assumed that the job of a doctor was to deliver a diagnosis regardless of the circumstance. I learned being a doctor means treating a patient effectively and putting their overall well being above everything else- a lesson I will hold close during my medical education.