The patient that has stood out to me the most through the program has been “John.” We had a friendly relationship, and I looked forward to meeting with him each week. He was always happy about his wife and family coming in. We would talk about many aspects of life – family, memories, football, and food, just to name a few. One of the biggest lessons I took from speaking with him was that I don’t need to try too hard to live a happy and fulfilling life. This isn’t something he explicitly told me, but I learned it from listening to him speak about his life. He didn’t do much, but he had a few hobbies and a job that he enjoyed. Sometimes, I get caught up in my own thoughts and start to think that I won’t be happy with my life unless I do certain things. But I’ve learned that I don’t need to do everything to be fulfilled. Over my entire relationship with him, he seemed slightly uncomfortable with the fact that he was soon going to die, but he was satisfied with the course of his life. As referenced in Being Mortal, medicine offers a sacrifice of time in exchange for an extended time later. He seemed okay with the fact that this was his final few months. My experience with “John” allowed me to understand what my first patient’s death feels like. I have experienced death within my family, but this felt different. I felt less overwhelming sadness but was still disappointed. This will certainly influence how I approach patient care in the future. I am going to strive to connect with many of my patients on a similar level to the connection I had with “John.” This may involve going into a specialty that is more patient-facing and focuses on making patients feel like more than just another case.
More importantly, my experience in the Athena program impacts the way I actively do my job as a PCT at Allegheny General Hospital. Many of the other PCTs disregard a basic need of the patients, human interaction. I try to focus on the patients that don’t get many visitors, spend more time with them, and have deliberate conversations with them if they engage. On the other hand, if possible, I also try to let patients with visitors be more isolated, so they feel as normal as possible. This program has emphasized the need for people that care about you and the positive effect that those people can have. Before this experience, I saw the patient’s perspective as wanting to get medical care and getting back home as fast as possible. While that is still applicable for some people, many of them are just as vulnerable, if not more vulnerable than the hospice patients I see. For some, the positive effect of just one conversation can be enough to get them through their stay in the hospital.
I believe that both my experience as a PCT and my experience in the Athena program will combine to improve the way that I will care for patients as a physician. This obviously makes the program extremely valuable for a medical school application. From the hospice perspective, I see the care from the patient’s point of view, which is vastly different from most clinical work experience. It feels slower, escaping the fast pace of my hospital work environment. It allows me to truly connect with the patient’s end of the experience. On top of this, it accentuates that death is not failure, but simply the end of the process of care. It teaches that physicians do everything they can, and death is always inevitable. Overall, my time in the Athena program has made valuable contributions to both how I carry myself in the present and how I will treat patients in the future.