In my experience as a volunteer for the Athena Institute Pre-Med Hospice Volunteer Program, I have learned valuable vocational skills that will be useful in my future career. Most importantly, I have learned how important it is for someone to have personal agency during their dying process. At the beginning of this program, my fear and anxieties towards death were mainly centered around the process of dying. I thought death would be very isolating with little to look forward to in day-to-day life. While this is true for some situations, as not everyone is afforded the same level of care during their death, this program has taught me that it is possible to have a good death and that everyone has different criteria for what they consider to be good. The readings and videos introduced in the program, as well as the experiences with patients, is what changed my opinion about death. It was through videos like Being Mortal and readings like the poem “The Horizon” that I learned a more holistic view of death. Not just in the eyes of the doctor, but also the eyes of the patient, a family member, and a loved one. Thus, this helped to complement my experiences with patients.
Through my experiences with patients, I learned that death does not look the same for every person. I was lucky enough to be able to meet weekly with two patients, and it is my experience with them that I consider being the most transformative. With one, I had the best time just sitting and coloring with him. I would let him pick a picture to color for the day, and he would suggest different colors while I colored in the picture for him. When he had the energy to do so, he would help me to color in the picture, always making sure to stay within the lines. At the end of our meeting, we would both sign the picture and date it, and often he would look through the book at our old filled-in coloring pages and comment on their beauty. This moment, in particular, stays with me because of its simplicity. Just two people, sitting, barely talking, and coloring with the passion of kindergarteners.
It is through this experience in particular that I learned that aggressively fighting death to prolong a patient’s life is not the best idea, either. As long as the patient is comfortable with their current state of health and able to live with minimal worries, fighting death should be a secondary task for the doctor. It is best to think about what the patient needs, and not just medically, but emotionally and mentally. Does the patient need to have a genuine conversation with someone that is not about their health? Do they need to see family members or a loved one? Is there a food that the patient is craving? Or does the patient just want to color? Meeting these needs is just as important because it helps to foster a genuine patient-provider relationship that is not solely focused on medical needs. This is the lesson that has stuck with me the most throughout my experience as a volunteer, and what I think is the most valuable lesson of this program. Not only was I able to learn how to communicate with patients, but also how to identify and fulfill a patient’s wants and needs. This is what makes this experience so impactful, unique, and even essential for pre-med students.