Atul Gawande claims that the first fear of being a doctor stems from believing you should always be able to fix a problem when it is presented to you. Gawande said that most physicians are anxious because they feel the pressure to consistently appear competent, and if something goes wrong, they view it as a direct reflection of their skills. However, I do not believe doctors’ right approach is to avoid death at all costs. When a treatment creates more harm than good, I believe it is time to open the dialogue about death and dying. A patient should have the option of stopping a treatment in order to enjoy the time he or she has left. Thus, I believe that a good physician maintains a balance between hope and reality. Hope is a dangerous thing when it comes to terminal illness, but having no hope is detrimental to both the patient and his or her family. A good physician needs to adapt the way he or she speaks to ensure clarity. It is a well-known fact that no one can stop the process of aging and dying, but at the same time, fighting death is natural.
Throughout my personal experience, I had the honor of visiting and speaking with Mary. When talking to Mary, I felt there was no better way to spend my Sunday afternoon and thus, I learned so much about this woman in a short amount of time. She told me about her family and pets. She told me about her childhood home and her career. Mary would offer me magazines, note pads, and apples she peeled for herself. She would also hug me before I left. If I asked her how she felt, she would always reply, “Better!” She was a strong woman and I am truly honored to have known Mary on a deeper level.
This experience solidified my inclination toward becoming a physician. I have always wanted to be in the medical field, but I was cautiously approaching the idea because I did not have much direct contact with the field. This program allowed me to have direct contact with patients, and it also challenged my view of death. Throughout the training and my visits with Mary, I have seen how death is necessary in order to appreciate the beauty of life. As a physician, I want to bring this understanding of death and help others live their lives fully. I believe that not being afraid of death and accepting death as a natural force is a healthy way to move forward as not only a doctor, but also a human being. Thus, I have grown into a person who can look at death with open eyes. Being a daughter of first-generation immigrants, I have not lost a family member that I have known personally. Since I have not lost a loved one, it was easy for me to shy away from the idea of death. I associated the loss of a life with intense pain and sadness, and I hoped that I would not have to experience this grief so a long time. Yet, death can be beautiful.