This year was my second year as part of the Athena Institute Pre-Med Volunteer program. I have already graduated, and this past year, I applied to medical school. I put extra effort into reflecting about my experience as part of the Athena program so that I could articulate it well in my application and at interviews. In particular, I realized that the combination of hospice volunteering and the training that we received through the program was incredibly valuable.
I found my hospice volunteering to be a very meaningful way to help others. I think it is a powerful thing to have the opportunity to be there for someone struggling with a terminal illness. In my last year’s essay, I talked about the power of one’s presence, the idea that while we may not be able to fix a situation, being present is significant. I would sometimes question how much of an impact my hospice volunteering made, especially when my tasks didn’t seem so significant. For example, during the summer I helped out a senior couple as a respite volunteer. I would stay with “Mr. Smith”, who was friendly and funny, while his wife went out to run errands. Mr. Smith was frail and his speech was difficult to understand, and he liked to watch television. Actually, most of my volunteering consisted of watching Fox News with Mr. Smith, sometimes for several hours. I have to say that I had never been this aware of current events before! As a volunteer, I felt the need to talk to Mr. Smith more. I tried to start conversations, and we did talk occasionally, but I realized that he mostly wanted to watch the news, and that was alright.
I felt that my help was valuable; after all, caregivers like Ms. Smith spend most of their time with the hospice patients and need a break from their difficult situations. However, it seemed to me that Mr. Smith passed away sooner than expected, or at least than his wife expected. He actually had four teeth extracted the same week he passed away, which did not make sense to me. Perhaps it was because the couple hoped Mr. Smith would live much longer. I also worry that Ms. Smith could have regrets about not spending every last minute with her husband the weeks prior to him passing away.
Despite the ambiguity surrounding the situation, I believe that having hospice teams consisting of doctors, nurses, social workers, and volunteers provides crucial support for patients and families. I think that the families especially find security in the fact that hospice is an organized system and helps families to understand what to expect.
Before starting the Athena program, I was very uncomfortable with the idea of being a hospice volunteer, especially because I had an incorrect perception of hospice. As I began to learn more about it, I started to see hospice in a positive light. Hospice aims to alleviate the physical pain of terminally ill patients, which in turn allows patients to spend more quality time with their loved ones. I also recently understood that a peaceful, expected passing is not something to take for granted. I especially realized this when I volunteered to lead my church’s choir for a 20-year old young man who came to the US for medical treatment, but died unexpectedly in the hospital. Also, having family and friends in Ukraine makes me follow the news more than I ever did during any armed conflict. I see my friends sharing very tragic posts, often with graphic brutality, on a daily basis. My whole family has trouble focusing on anything other than the war. Compared to this image of death, hospice becomes a much more positive concept where people are cared for, respected, and valued.