I am very thankful to have been part of this program. I have learned a lot about end-of-life care and the role of physicians in this field, and I also feel that I have grown as an individual. Before this program, I always assumed that health professionals need to do everything they can to prolong a patient’s life. Dr. Atul Gawande describes that doctors are trained as problem-solvers, and that terminal illnesses often makes doctors feel like they have failed at their job. This view is also common in our society, for example, it is not uncommon to hear expressions such as “losing a battle with cancer”. The prompts I completed as part of the Athena program made me realize that a much more positive approach to end-of-life care is possible and necessary.
I had not thought much about the fact that continuing to prolong a very sick patient’s life may only cause them suffering without adding benefits. For example, a cancer patient with a poor prognosis may try experimental chemotherapy drugs in hope of extending their life. However, if the patient experiences severe side-effects from the chemotherapy, they will not be able to make the most of out their remaining time. They may even not have the mental capacity to interact with their loved ones in a meaningful way. On the other hand, acceptance of the condition and the outcome, though difficult, would make room for the patient to be able to focus on what is most important for them at the end of their life.
The Athena program has also shaped me as an individual by encouraging me to think about topics such as our impermanence as humans and being more aware of death in general. I realized that confronting the topic of death encourages me to reflect on how I am living my life. In particular, I think about how there are so many distractions in our materialistic society that deter us from what is actually important, such as family, relationships, and spirituality. Remembering that our time is limited should not be a stressor, but rather motivate us to spend this time wisely.
One of my meaningful patient interaction experiences was with a woman in her early seventies with vascular dementia. She would receive dialysis several times a week, and my role as a respite volunteer would be to sit by her, offer her company, and make sure she was doing well. At first, I was in shock, because I had never seen anyone so sick before. Previously, my volunteer coordinator told me the woman spoke Spanish, so as a Spanish major I was excited to potentially speak Spanish with her. However, it turned out that she did not have very much awareness at all and did not talk. I was so surprised, though, that she was very well-aware of me holding her hand, and she would firmly grip mine as well. I felt a deep connection with her at that point, and I realized that even when there is not much we can do for someone, our mere presence and empathy can make a difference. I later saw a similar theme in Tolstoy’s “The Death of Ivan Illyich”. The terminally ill Ivan Illyich experienced intense suffering due to his illness. Gerasim, Ivan’s servant, was very patient and empathetic towards him, and his sincere disposition provided Ivan a great deal of comfort. I was impressed by Gerasim’s character; he stood out to me as someone good-natured and wise.