Serving as a hospice caretaker has been a very fulfilling yet complex journey for me. I initially joined Ascend Hospice because I wanted to learn how to communicate with my grandfather, who is slowly succumbing to Alzheimer’s. Not only have I built a deeper relationship with grandfather because of the skills I have learned through hospice, but my perspective on what it means to die has also completely changed. Before starting patient visits, I was under the impression that all hospice patients would be miserable because as they were approaching their finals days of life, there was no way for them to find happiness and solace. However, after working with Susan, I see that my previous thinking was most definitely not true.
For a patient in hospice, Susan has such a vibrant and colorful personality – more so that many people I’ve met outside of hospice! Each week, she tells us a different story, sometimes about her children or the places she has traveled or never got the chance to explore. Just two weeks ago, I was telling her about my upcoming internship in New Delhi, India this summer, which lead her to share marvelous stories from her travels in Asia, and we discovered that we share the same hometown. However, they are been moments where she had memory episodes, believing that we were on a tropical island or in a bustling city. Though heartbreaking to see, working with Susan in all stages of her hospice care has made me realize how important and meaningful it can be to have someone listen and show compassion.
The value of this program for medical school is immeasurable. Of course, clinical experience is a crucial aspect of the medical school application; however, I believe that this requirement can be fulfilled in a more meaningful way, rather than aimlessly shadowing a medical professional. Ascend Hospice teaches us how to connect with patients and build significant relationships that both patients and caretakers remember. Rather than treating diseases, we learn to treat the patient and respect their dignity, a notion that Dr. Sunita Puri is an avid believer of. Oftentimes, when doctors are so focused on curing the illness, the patient’s suffering and emotional well-being are often glanced over. Dr. Puri explains that on her quest for doctoring differently, she found language and communication to be the most important tools. With language, we can better access the mind of patients and their family in efforts to find the best care. Even Dr. Atul Gawande, as seen in “Being Mortal,” believes that there is a disconnect between patients and doctor about the topic of death. Doctors struggle to talk honestly and openly with patients who are dying. However, with the training and experiences developed from this program, we may be able to overcome this barrier as we progress in our medical careers.
Before I started this program, I was very focused on being a doctor and set on one specific path of reaching this goal. However, because of hospice, I have learned how to be flexible and considerate. Being a medical professional is not all about treating illness, but also to engage with patients and bring them peace at difficult times, even if we do not always have the cure. Additionally, I have learned how to have empathy and compassion for people of all types, regardless of how often you see them or how deep of a connection is made. The most important thing I have learned is patience. Being a pre-medical undergraduate student, I often feel caught up and overwhelmed by all the academic requirements that must be completed. With Ascend hospice, I have learned how to slow down and appreciate each moment in the present. Lastly, participating in this program has also taught me a great deal about the disparities that many patients face. For example, according to“We’re Bad at Death. Can We Talk?”, minority patients are more likely to be hospitalized and receive aggressive care during their last six months and are more likely to die in the hospital. I now hope to work in non-profit medicine, exploring the ways in which healthcare delivery can be improved at a grassroots level, for all patients.
Overall, this program has taught me to value interpersonal relationships and that the goal is not for a “good death, but a good life – all the way to the very end.” (“We’re Bad at Death. Can We Talk). I look forward to future experiences to come!