Being a volunteer in the Athena Hospice program has been a transformative experience for me in my life. It has undoubtedly shaped my aspirations, furthering my desire to pursue a career in medicine. In the realm of healthcare, it is the human connection that truly defines the practice of medicine. Each interaction with a patient offers a new, unique life story to unravel. The day-to-day of a physician is enhanced by interactions with patients, and going through med school gives me the ability to further help patients with specialized care.
One of my most profound experiences in this program was with my patient “Hank”. My bond with “Hank” was reminiscent of the relationship I shared with my own grandfather. He gave a lot of advice from his perspective on life, and there was a feeling of mutual care between us. Over the course of three months, our conversations flowed through entire visits. We talked about his kids and grandkids a lot, of whom he was very proud. I enjoyed seeing how happy he would get when we would talk about them.
“Hank” was somewhat cynical about the world, but some of that cynicism crept into his own life and what he had achieved. I helped him to see the value in that his kids, who were all doing great things with their lives, were reflections of him. Thus, even when he was gone, he had made a lasting impact on the world. Socialization is the surface benefit of our volunteering, but helping patients find meaning is a purpose that is just as, if not more, important. Conversations with Hank have also transformed the way I live my life. Even from many decades ago, “Hank” remembered and talked about big fights/arguments with friends and siblings, sometimes things that ruined whole relationships. In old age, we may remember trivially the first car we drove, but the things that we get passionate about are people and the way they made us feel, good or bad. Though difficult, I have been working toward unconditional kindness because people do remember the way you made them feel, and this has a lasting impact on the world.
Additionally, guidance from my volunteer coordinator proved invaluable in connecting with patients, even over large age gaps and difficulties in finding common interests. Her advice helped foster meaningful connections with patients. Her advice enabled me to have meaningful conversations with all patients.
At the center of the Athena hospice program is the significance of bedside manner and confronting the reality of death. Advice from the chaplain helped me in being able to connect and engage with patients, even when verbal communication abilities were limited/nonexistent. This is a realistic situation in my future as a physician, and the chaplain helped me to see the value of this experience and settled my frustration. I was able to piece together patient interests through family notes and clues from his room, so I got books from our resource center and provided activities that engaged that patient throughout entire visits.
The Athena prompts and meetings with the chaplain helped me to navigate the complexities of end-of-life care with humility and compassion, and also have had a lasting impact on my outlook, especially in exploring the powerful work of Atul Gawande in “Being Mortal”. Death is certain, so life can’t just be about avoiding suffering but creating meaning.
The Athena hospice program has been transformative for me in the way I live my life and my future as a physician. I am grateful for all the lessons that it has taught me, and I look forward to continuing my volunteering in hospice.