It is difficult to put experiences, much less people, into words. One could never do someone justice when describing all that they are, and how they have touched our lives. Nonetheless, it is important that we do so; we should not keep these experiences just for ourselves.
This hospice experience was something I had never done before. I remember feeling nervous about walking into a room where I may or may not be welcomed, and try to get to know someone who may not want to know me. I am so glad that decided to just do it.
My first time meeting Mr. Kent, he was watching TV in his wheelchair in his own room. I went with our amazing supervisor Maggie, she steered and guided the conversation and introduced me. Mr. Kent was very welcoming towards both of us.
From my following visits with him I got to know him a little more each time, one visit at a time. Some visits, he would remember me and other days he would not. Some days our conversations were repeats of what we spoke about the last visit, but each time he was genuinely curious about my life. Something that the chaplain said at one of our reflection meetings that was truly helpful in these conversations with Mr. Kent, was, “Sometimes you have to think ‘We’ve had this conversation before, and I’m going to be just as excited.’” Mr. Kent may not have realized that we’ve already talked about his piano lessons as a child. However, I realized that to him we have not had this conversation, that he was sharing pieces of his life to someone he did not know, again. I quickly learned to value these conversations and use pieces of what he has told me about to ask questions that could lead to new information. This truly was something that reached me.
Our chaplain constantly mentioned that it was always us meeting them, the patient, where they are at, and this was something I kept in mind with my other patient Mr. Boone. Out of these two patients that I visited, he is the one who I feel is most uncomfortable with his position. My conversations with him could go on and on, he always had something to say.
On the other hand, Mr. Kent showed me that he was very calm and at peace with himself; he showed no sort of fear or anxiety about where he was. Instead he would even say to me, when he would ask what I was studying, that I had my whole life ahead of me and not to worry.
From both of these patients I have realized that death is something people experience differently and that it can come at different times. Mr. Boone was so much younger than Mr. Kent and maybe that is why he reacts differently. Mr. Kent was older, ready, and at peace but Mr. Boone still seems unsettled. It is a different experience because Mr. Boone always asks questions about current events, still invested in knowing and keeping up with the times. He even seems embarrassed if he cannot remember what day of the week it is; with Mr. Kent he was never like this, he seemed to take each day at a time. Mr. Boone seems a little frustrated and sometimes all I can do is validate those feelings and let him carry the conversation. I am grateful for both of their lives because they have let me into them and let me see a peek of who they are and how they are feeling, and I appreciate it all.