Just last month, my patient turned 100 years old! I remember when I first met her, one of the first things she declared was, “I’m 99 years old!” Thinking about it brings a smile to my face. Now I think of her even when I’m not with her, I see her resemblance to the other individuals I encounter in my life. In fact, just the other day, I noticed three old men in the early morning hours in Panera, wheelchair bound, staring longingly out the store window. I was immediately reminded of Betty, my patient, and how she would do the same. After reflecting on the conversations I’ve had with her and what it means to live when most everyone you know has died, I felt inspired to write this poem. As with most events in life, the end-of-life is a bittersweet time, and I am grateful to experience this with my 100 year old friend.
“A Century Old”
When I first met her,
Her wheelchair was turned towards the window sill,
The one she’d been looking out for 8 years,
The only window she’ll look past now,
Counting cars as they passed by,
Tallying the colors of the cars,
She liked the red ones best, she said.
Red was the color of her bracelets,
She made them herself, she said.
I asked about her family every visit,
And she would talk of her sons,
How they died,
and of her grandchildren in the same way,
Every time.
She didn’t know I had heard the stories before,
And she didn’t need to know,
I admired her memories,
The ones she kept dear to her heart.
She would laugh it off when she couldn’t remember something,
And I always wondered if there was a part of her that worried she would forget it all,
But she never showed it.
I could tell she was withering,
If I spoke softly, she wouldn’t hear me,
So I learned to shout in conversation.
She used to eat by herself before,
But now she needs help.
Despite the fading,
She remains content,
She has accepted that her time is near,
wearing her lopsided glasses,
She laughs,
Waiting until it is her turn,
To close her eyes sleepily,
and rest peacefully forever.
The experiences I’ve had with Betty will be cherished forever. The way she and her grandchildren have touched me will remain with me through life. I only wish that she remains content, and hope that other students get to experience the same.