There comes a time when everyone must reflect on their past. Whether it be in the face of a challenge or at the end of life, we can find ourselves dwelling on our failures or reliving joyous moments. Fortunately, many of us are able to extract meaning and impactful lessons from our past, and this is an essential part of the nature of a human being.
I was lucky enough to have met Charlie, a wonderful spirit with the smile of a child and the mind of man who has seen many things. Charlie, my hospice patient, was a veteran in his late 80s. At first sight, one can denote that he has been through quite a lot, medically speaking. He suffered from developing Alzheimer’s disease and was put in the home by his family. He loved to tell me and my volunteer partner stories about his times abroad at war. We learned plenty about his love of the different cultures and their languages. Through laughter and sometimes tears, we slowly began growing closer with Charlie. His beautifully blue eyes never failed to capture our attention and they themselves told stories of their own.
Charlie and the pre-med hospice program taught me a lot about what the end of life really means. For every individual, it can mean different things. One may see it as purely what it physically is, inevitable, and thereby suffer at the thought of death. Another may see it as the thing that grants the end of all suffering and leaves one at peace. In my perspective, death is both, and it is not to be feared. Every human being one day leaves the physical world, but their impact remains. They will have suffered and achieved, felt pain and euphoria, among a host of other things that are natural to life, but it all must come to an end for one reason. That reason is our purpose. Fundamentally, the nature of mortality is what grants meaning to our lives. If humans were immortal beings, suffering and joy would one day become null. Everything we do today, tomorrow, and on, is meant to be done within a given amount of time, but immortality takes this away and we are no longer driven, motivated, etc. Human nature is bound to mortality and I have learned that when the time comes, it is meant to. We must enjoy what we can and endure what we must, this is where the beauty of our memories lies.
This program has allowed me to look into what my future vocation may be, and I can sincerely say that I have never felt more passionate about my career choice. The medical field is bittersweet in the way it intertwines the lives of doctors and patients. From delivering a child to giving oxygen to an elderly man, the idea that I could hold the life of a patient in my hands is both terrifying but empowering. I used to fear the loss that comes with the job, but hospice has taught me not to. Death in the medical field will always be present, but so will the joys that come from meeting many, many unique patients, all with their own wonderful experiences to tell. Although with a great cost, I know, as a doctor, I will be fulfilled with the amount of aid I can provide and the world of people I may meet.
Every life is worth celebrating. When at the end of life, it is important to look back and know that your past gives your life value, whoever you are or whatever you have done. Thank you to everyone I had the fortune of meeting on this journey.