I have spent my time as a hospice volunteer learning and reflecting on what it means to care for someone in their last stages of life. My understanding of death and what it means for the person experiencing it has completely shifted over the last few months. As acknowledged in many of our prompts, death is scary, and we try to do everything we can to avoid it. In doing so, death becomes a taboo subject that people don’t want to confront; it’s unfortunate that death gets mostly negative attention, as it is universally experienced and could benefit from a better understanding. This often manifests itself as doctors prescribing medications to extend life rather than provide comfort. Hospice aims to combat this approach, however, by providing care through the simple power of presence.
During one of our reflection meetings, a comment was made about how it can be tough to know whether our work has a lasting impact due to the lack of verbal and/or other kinds of validation. This really resonates with me because the sentiment is true; how do you know you are making a difference if you can’t see the result? Upon further reflecting, I don’t think seeing a “result” is really necessary, as that is not what hospice is about. It is about providing care, compassion, and company to those who are at their most vulnerable. My current patient has some memory issues, and though she likely does not remember me after I leave, she is so pleasant and excited to spend time with me while I am there with her. I am making a difference in the moments that I am with her and that is enough. I have learned to simply do what I can, even if that is only providing my presence, which will shift how I interact with patients as a future physician.
Humans are meant to connect with one another and build relationships, and I think volunteering in hospice reflects this well. We need community and kindness in order to flourish. I imagine that this need is even greater as we near the end of our lives. Hospice allows for relationships to develop and grow at one of the most vulnerable times in a person’s life, which is something I had never considered prior to my time as a volunteer. I never truly thought about what it means to face death, yet I was exposed to it many times throughout the last several months. I understand now how delicate of a process it is, and how meaningful a calm and caring presence can be. The intentionality of these relationships has deeply influenced my understanding of what it means to care for someone as a physician. Meaningful relationships in medicine do not require grand gestures, but instead begin with attention, consistency, and sincere investment in another person’s wellbeing.
I am deeply grateful for my time as a hospice volunteer. Both my time spent with my patient, and the reflection component of this program have taught me to be more intentional and thoughtful with my actions. When I am with my patient, there is nothing for me to focus on besides her and what we are doing together. The only thing that matters is I am showing up for her and supporting her needs to the best of my ability. I then get to reflect on what this means for her as she nears the end of her life, and for me as I still have so much life ahead of me. I hope to continue volunteering in hospice after my time with Athena ends, but will continue to carry what I have learned with me each time I care for a patient.