For my volunteer experience in the Athena program, I was partnered up with a woman we’ll call “Lisa.” At this point in her life, “Lisa” has been in hospice care for almost two years living under her daughter’s care. While “Lisa” is responsive and can form short words, she is mostly nonverbal which initially provided a challenge. I remember the first visit, “Lisa’s” daughter showed me around then sat me down at their kitchen table and walked through “Lisa’s” medical history. She hasn’t taken traditional meds in almost a year, which was alarming to hear as a pre-med student.
The first few visits, it was silent as she slept the whole time, or Steve Harvey would carry conversation as we sat watching Family Feud. It has been hard to learn about “Lisa’s” life and needs, but over the visits I learned how to bridge the gap between us. One day, my parents sent me a video of my dogs playing outside. I reached over to show “Lisa” the video and watched as her smile grew. Then on, before my visits I collect videos of my siblings and I as kids, ocean waves, animals, and more.
Becoming so attached to a specific patient, I have felt a responsibility to my patients I hadn’t previously felt in my other work. I feel a sense of commitment towards improving her life and helping the family out whenever I can. When I couldn’t accept a visit time, I’d feel guilty and immediately determined to find another time in the next couple weeks to visit. Seeing how much work and emotionally draining full time care for her mother was, I wanted to help her daughter as much as possible. Over the course of the program, I struggled with the emotional burden of the unobtainable wish to fix all their problems. I learned to create a healthy separation between what I was doing at school or home and being with them. By recognizing my limitations as an undergrad volunteer, I learned to navigate empathy for patients while protecting my mental health.
My difficulty communicating with “Lisa” initially reminded me of the “unfixable” conversation at the beginning of the program. As a pre-med student, I feel obligated to “fix” or solve any problems that arise, so it was difficult to create a connection in a different way. Also, I struggled at first to respect the patient and her family’s treatment style. While I wanted to chime in and correct, it is important to recognize it ultimately is the patient’s choice. As we grew closer, I became more comfortable and understanding of their untraditional approach to medicine. Getting to know “Lisa” has taught me that medicine is not solely about intervention, but about a different kind of healing with respect, presence, and love. It taught me how to navigate the uncertainties with end-of-life care and communication barriers. The Athena program provided me the opportunity to develop long-term relationships with a patient and learn to respect and value patient autonomy. As a future physician, I hope to carry this perspective as I compassionately shape patient care.