School: Princeton

To prepare for hospice I read essays and listened to interviews that reflected the intensity and gravity I expected from the experience. I watched documentaries from the perspective of hospice physicians and patients grappling with the heartbreaking decision to withdraw treatment. I imagined myself at the heart of these trying conversations and prepared myself for … Continue reading “Reflections on hospice and mundanity”

I am friends with Death. Perhaps, “friends” is not the correct word, rather I am an acquaintance of the faceless, omnipotent entity whose presence we are constantly reminded of in our lives. Whether in watching an ant clinging onto its last moments after being squashed or listening to news of a tragic bombing that news … Continue reading “Death and I: Understanding Death and the process of Dying through the Hospice System”

“I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon’s knife or the chemist’s drug.” – Louis Lasagna, 1964, Modern version of the Hippocratic Oath Compared to medicine as was practiced in the era of Ancient Greece, modern medicine is far more … Continue reading “The Art of Medicine”

Coming into the Ascend Hospice program, I was a naïve young woman who has not had much experience in dealing with death, so I was not sure what to expect. After a year of volunteering, although I am still young, I can say that I am a little less naïve, and there are definitely a … Continue reading “The Little Moments”

Throughout my time at hospice, there were a couple patients that really stood out to me. One of these was an elderly woman with whom I was never able to have a real conversation. She always was in a wheelchair, pedaling her way between her room and the end of the hall. Toward the beginning … Continue reading “Silent Company”

A spider makes its way across the wall in front of me. It, like all living things, will eventually die. Its movements are frantic and irregular. It is limping. One of its legs is missing. I look at it, and it pauses, almost as if it’s waiting for me to kill it. I leave it … Continue reading “Vanity”

I have recently visited the Chicago Institute of Art, spending most of my time mesmerized by their contemporary and modern collections. One exhibition in particular, featuring avant-garde Chinese videographer Zhang Peili, made me feel particularly anxious and uncomfortable almost immediately. I walked into the miniature theater to a black-and-white Chinese revolutionary movie scene with one … Continue reading “Reflections on an Exhibition”

Prior to my time volunteering at a hospice, the closest I had ever been to death was when my grandfather passed away when I was seven years old. And even then, my experience with the grief and aftermath of his passing was felt thousands of miles away from the tiny Pakistani village encased by acres … Continue reading ““To Be or Not to Be”: A Reflection on Life and Passing”

Beginnings and Ends Katherine is always a ray of sunshine. She shines brighter than me. From her stories about traveling throughout Europe, to her descriptions of her children and grandchildren, her age and experience always shine through her conversations. Every time I talk to her, she never fails to remind me to enjoy life. Her … Continue reading “Beginnings and Ends”

I signed up to volunteer with Hospice at a time when I still didn’t understand what it meant to have a terminal illness, to be beyond treatment options, and to want to live out your days in peace. As someone who is science-minded, it is easy to fall into the trap of always wanting to … Continue reading “Lessons on Life from Hospice Care”