Searching for Courtship: The Smart Woman's Guide To Finding a Good Husband

Wanted: Big, Strong Guy to Take Out the Trash

from:
The Toronto Star--May 18, 1993,
by: Bill Taylor

-Copyright, The Toronto Star Newspaper, Toronto CANADA.

It sounds like an offer no single woman could refuse "You could be chief executive officer of your company and have a tremendous romance and enjoy both, " Winnifred Cutler says.

In fact, she absolutely guarantees it. Or part of it, anyway. You’re on your own when it comes to winning that top corporate job. But Cutler says her new book, Searching for Courtship: The Smart Woman’s guide to Finding a Good Husband, will put you on the fast track toward a killer social life and - if you're so minded - the altar.What’s more, she insists, marriage is good for a woman.

"For one thing, there’s sex. Married women have more sex than single women and regular weekly sex will give a woman more estrogen and that’s good. *** I’m speaking as a scientist. We studied studies of women in their 20s who had sporadic sex and they had lower estrogen levels than women in their 70s." Cutler has a Ph.D. in biology.

The book sets out detailed guidelines for women to successfully "play the field" doing nothing in a hurry and setting standards, which the man must meet. "He either achieves them or he doesn’t," Cutler says. "If he doesn’t, that’s fine. He doesn’t get that close to you. You don’t get intimate too quickly. This is about integrity and good manners. Women are more vulnerable than men to deceit."

Among areas covered by the book are:
*The politics of dating - "who invites, who pays"
* How to distinguish lust from love.
*How to avoid being disappointed or mistreated
* Why living together is not recommended
* How to make orgasms "inevitable every time"
* And of course, that "good single men do exist, where to find them, how to keep them."

"It’s like a college course", Cutler says," follow this three times a week for 14 weeks and I guarantee she’ll be having a great time. Men will be falling at her feet."

Between the ages of 40 and 44, she says," I dated 160 different men. I kept careful notes. I developed the guidelines for the book on myself and I’ve used them myself. Some men I went out with once, some 120 times. I had a wonderfully active social life once I figured out what I should do."

What needed to be figured out?

"The world had changed so much since I was 15, Cutler says. " Back then, if a boy said he’d call me, I knew he’d call. If he said he wanted to go out with me, I knew he meant it.. Twenty-five years later I found the lying astonishing. The words a man said couldn't be relied on. Single men who want sex will lie 80% of the time to achieve that goal...What’s a woman to do?"

Searching for Courtship provides all the answers, Cutler says. "If a woman doesn't want a husband, this may not be the right book for her. If she does, it’ll get her there as quick as a flash and it’s a lot of fun. It becomes a delightfully happy experience being a single woman moving out into the world o people. I’m not saying this is the only way to form a relationship. But it’s the least stressful and allows the least amount of pain and the most amount of pleasure."

"You’re taking charge of your life. There's nothing embarrassing about this kind of pursuit, searching for a man to spend your life with. IF you were looking for a job, you’d formulate a plan and go out and follow it. You wouldn't just hang around an employment agency hoping someone would come long and offer you something."

A lot of women, she says, need the help her book offers. "You can have powerful, attractive, dominant women and they don’t know how to enjoy the choreography of the dance. I say bring back formal dating and you will show men how to court. Show men how to court and you will have a magnificent time."

******

Courting Love: How Women Can Find Men To Love Them
from:
Philadelphia Inquirer--May 2, 1991
by: Ralph Vigoda

-Copyright, The Philadelphia Inquirer Newspaper, Philadelphia, PA.

Love makes the world go ‘round.
It also drives a lot of people nuts. But it does not have to be that way, said Winnifred Cutler ,an author, scientist, lecturer, and student of love and intimacy.
Cutler, the founder of Athena Institute will share some of her expertise next week in a workshop titled "Searching for Courtship".

"Our approach is that women need men and men need women if they're heterosexual and there's a high art to understanding each other that begins with understanding the physiological makeup," she said. "A relationship is based on consideration, kindness, love, and caring about each other. In the dynamic intimacy between a man and a woman, what's good for one is good for another."

Cutler has a doctorate in biology from the University of Pennsylvania and was cofounder of the Women’s wellness Program there. She began Athena in 1986 as a woman’s health center - without the aerobics and weight training.. *** Physicians are trained in diseases. I'm trained in wellness," said Cutler. *** The workshop on courtship is based on the belief that love, commitment and marriage are in vogue after a couple of decades of free love and multiple partners. The brochure promises that by following the suggestions outlined in the workshop a woman will "be ready to find a committed permanent and joyous relationship."

"Courtship is the process in which a man pursues a woman with his intention of leading toward intimacy, which if successful, would lead to a proposal," said Cutler. "What we’ll be doing is helping women find men to court them."

Some of the topics for discussion included" "Why you ought not to be seeking a man who is your type, and who you should be looking for; "Why you should announce that your are single and searching ,and how to do it"; "Why living together is a bad idea if you want marriage," and" How to make orgasms and sexual fulfillment as inevitable as sneezing."

Part of the program will be a discussion of how men’s bodies work, what are the components of human sexual responses, of arousal, of libido. We take apart the complexity and show how simple it is. It’s very important and not taught anywhere," said Cutler.

Published articles on Searching for Courtship