| SEARCHING FOR COURTSHIP lays out a clear road map for the woman who
is single but doesn't want to be and the woman who wants commitment in the form
of a long term relationship leading to marriage.
According to Dr. Winnifred Cutler, the search for courtship is a dynamic process
involving the male pursuit of a woman, who in turn defines his role and sets
limits to achieve a loving, physical relationship fulfilling for both partners.
Based on biological principles and years of research, this book offers
practical exercises and real-life examples. SEARCHING FOR COURTSHIP declares a
woman's right to find a suitable and satisfying mate, one who will befriend
her, love and respect her, and form a lifetime commitment with her.
Readers will learn: that good single men DO exist, why you should not be
searching for your "type," the politics of dating (who invites, who
pays), how to distinguish lust from love, and how to avoid being disappointed
or mistreated. Men can read for themselves the qualities women look for in a
man.
THE CODE OF COURTSHIP: ELEVEN PRINCIPLES TO GUIDE YOU TO YOUR GOAL OF COURTSHIP
The following are just several of the eleven principles Dr. Cutler has
established as a CODE to practice:
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Principle 1- Acknowledge the power of biology. Use his attraction to negotiate
a successful courtship.
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Principle 5- Strengthen your capacity for self-control by taking command of
your social calendar.
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Principle 11- Realize that there are many single men searching for
relationships. Have the courage to end yours when things aren't working out and
start again.
A STORY FROM "FRIEDA" WHO LEARNED TO FOLLOW THE CODE OF COURTSHIP
Frieda was 38 when she attended a workshop and explored her history with men. As
she did, she recognized that her problem centered on principles four and five.
When men began to show interest in her, she would typically respond with pretty
much whatever they wanted. Her usual experience was to receive a phone call on
a Friday afternoon from a new or not so new man who would ask her what she was
doing this weekend. And usually the truth was she had no plans.
Then when the man would suggest that they get together, although she felt uneasy
about it, she would agree to see him at the last minute. She didn't like this,
but didn't know how to change it. Through the exercises that follow, she
learned how to communicate what she wanted. More important, she strengthened
her capacity for self-control and her dignity by taking command of her
calendar. Her life changed dramatically.
EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK:
WHY COURTSHIP WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE - The search for courtship is a definite,
positive act. Courtship is not a random activity that just happens. Once you
decide that you are going to take action to reach for what you want, you first
need to prepare yourself. Then you set out on the journey. Like all journeys,
the search for courtship will take you to new places, places you may never have
been before.
It is important to recognize that people can and, in certain circumstances, do
change. I think a leopard can change its spots. A man who learns what you
require may be able to rise to your challenge. Consider men you have known who
treated some women badly and others well.
Don't buy into the idea that "what you see is what you get." Think of
the homely seed that can bloom into a lovely plant with proper tending and
nurturing. What you see in a courtship candidate is not what you get. Love
changes people. What you see is the raw material before love has been added -
if the candidate before you is available.
You can change also, and you will surely need to if you want courtship and if
you have not had it before in your experiences with intimacy. You may have to
change your attitude, your way of seeing, your way of perceiving.
WHAT READERS ARE SAYING ABOUT SEARCHING FOR COURTSHIP:
Minnie (TX) "That book , Searching for Courtship, it’s working! Lots of
advice, no nonsense for smart modern women. I am very skeptical about self help
books from the bookstore. Bur after reading your book I started to reinvent
myself. No more try it, you’ll like it. I went through time to be by
myself like you taught, I decided I wanted to get married. I couldn’t keep
a relationship after my divorce, I got confused. Lots of offers, lots of dates,
short relationships. And then after I studied your book...I found this person
at work. We became friends. I put out all the baits; he did the fishing. He
asked my daughter for permission to marry me. I just want you to know that I
respect your work very much."
Paula (FL) "I am a psychotherapist and find your books on courtship and
sexuality very useful. I tell my patients about your books as well as the
pheromones....Your work is so relevant to understanding and articulating the
mind-body connection for practicing therapists and for their patients. Some
years back, I read Searching for Courtship, left my terrible marriage, got a
divorce, followed the principles and have enjoyed the years ever since. Your
work has been enormously valuable to me personally....Honest to goodness
everything fell into place...I began following the principles you describe on
integrity, clarity and so forth. Shortly thereafter I met a fellow who was
dating several women. I clearly told him that I was not interested in
developing a relationship under those circumstances and wished him well. Well,
a few months later he called me back...our relationship progressed."
More Readers respond:
"I really enjoyed learning about a scientific approach to courtship."
"The key here was learning how to acquire enough self-respect to demand
respect."
"Many good ideas that I am certainly applying, particularly viewing myself
as a person of enormous value to be cherished by a husband."
"It was great to discover how many places there are to go to meet men that I
never thought of. So many men, so little time."
THE BOOK ALSO CONTAINS: A courtship flow-chart, a sample pre-nuptial agreement,
self-analysis check lists, and candid advice on sexual physiology and sexual
ethics.
PROFESSIONAL REVIEW:
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"Finally, a book that takes the mystery out of finding a husband. I believe
that any woman who reads this book and follows Dr. Cutler's advice can be
married within a year. I can't wait to give it to every single woman I
know."
-Ellen Kreidman, author of Light His Fire and Light Her Fire
Hardback- $24.50. Paperback-$16.50
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